Take the instance of someone having left a job, and being owed £650 for annual leave they did not take.  They can use DEAR MAN to ask for the money back firmly but politely, without being rude or overly pushy. DESCRIBE – ”I believe I am owed £650… EXPLAIN – …for annual leave I was […]

This comes under emotional regulation skills.  I had to use this today. REPAIR – Apologise – Do something to make up for the damage – do something to show you are genuinely sorry COMMIT to not making the same mistake again ACCEPT the consequences gracefully LET IT GO – it is done, it cannot be […]

Relationships with people – these can also be helped by applying the abbreviations GIVE and FAST. GIVE is how to act in such a way that will give you positive feedback from the person with whom you are interacting. G – gentle – be kind. ”Be kind, for everybody is fighting a hard battle” said […]

This is a more long-term method of making living easier.  Its abbreviated to ‘wise mind ACCEPTS’ A – activities – DO something, preferably something that engages you.  This acts as a form of distraction.  TV ain’t great…  A book is better, because you have to create your own mental picture.  Write to someone!  Get out […]

It’s definitely good for one’s soul and one’s karma.  There was one in my lampshade that I drowned in Mr Sheen.  I immediately felt better. Took a bunch of diazepam a while ago and it’s starting to kick in. I might’ve ‘slipped and fell’ into my hair straighteners (not as bad as the ‘I was […]

How to approach a confrontation – DEAR MAN Describe – say what the current situation is and what you want to change Explain – then explain WHY you want it to change Assert – restate what it is that you want Reinforce – describe the positive effects of what you are proposing etc. for the […]

  One of the sets of skills I use the most commonly when in a state of potential crisis is that known by its initials IMPROVE (improve the moment).  It is focused on dealing directly with the here and now in order to internally restore some semblance of order and make things more tolerable in […]